Calm Is a Skill
One of the biggest misconceptions about working as a House Manager is that the job is always polished, predictable, and peaceful. Sure, there are days when everything goes as planned and the house runs like a well-oiled machine—but those days are rare. Most of the time, I’m juggling a dozen tasks, troubleshooting unexpected problems, and doing my best to keep everyone else calm while I’m putting out fires behind the scenes.
After more than 20 years managing luxury homes for high-profile clients, I can say without a doubt: grace under pressure is not just helpful—it’s essential. Staying calm in the middle of chaos is one of the most valuable tools in my toolkit, and it’s something I’ve worked hard to master over the years.
Chaos Comes in All Forms
Household “chaos” doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it’s a full-blown crisis—like a burst pipe an hour before a fundraiser, a sudden illness during a family trip, or a last-minute guest showing up unannounced. But more often, it’s the slow buildup of unexpected events: a vendor running late, a chef canceling, the dog escaping through an open gate, or the Wi-Fi going down in the middle of a Zoom meeting.
Each of these situations requires fast thinking, problem-solving, and a steady hand. When things start to go sideways, everyone looks to me for answers. That’s where grace under pressure comes in. If I panic, the energy shifts. But if I stay grounded, others will, too.
Preparation Is Everything
One of the reasons I can stay calm during chaos is because I’ve spent years preparing for it. I always have a Plan B (and usually a Plan C). I know who to call when something breaks. I’ve built strong relationships with reliable vendors. I keep backup supplies on hand. I review schedules closely, leave wiggle room, and anticipate potential problems before they happen.
Preparation gives me confidence. It means that when something goes wrong—and it will—I’m not starting from scratch. I’ve already thought it through. I already have options. That allows me to act quickly without letting stress take over.
It’s Not Personal—It’s the Job
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn early on was not to take things personally. When a client is upset, it’s rarely about me—it’s about the situation. Maybe the event didn’t go as expected. Maybe they’re under pressure themselves. Maybe they just needed someone to vent to. My job is to absorb that energy without reacting emotionally.
Grace under pressure also means knowing when to speak and when to listen. Sometimes all that’s needed is a calm, reassuring presence. I’ve learned to be that person—the one who stays cool, listens carefully, and responds with solutions, not excuses.
Lead with Confidence and Empathy
In high-pressure situations, the people around you feed off your energy. If I’m frantic, my team becomes frantic. If I’m composed and clear, they feel safer and more focused. That’s why I lead every situation with confidence—even if I’m scrambling behind the scenes—and always treat my staff and vendors with respect.
A little kindness goes a long way during stressful moments. When I thank the florist for remaking an arrangement on short notice or check in on the chef during a chaotic kitchen rush, I’m showing empathy. That not only boosts morale but builds lasting loyalty. People remember how you treat them when things are hard.
Real-Life Lessons from the Field
Over the years, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to put this into practice. One winter in Montana, a snowstorm knocked out power during a weekend retreat. I had a house full of guests, no heat, and a client expecting a catered dinner. I calmly reassured everyone, got the generator running, coordinated with the chef to switch to a stovetop-friendly menu, and created a cozy, candlelit dinner that turned into one of the client’s favorite memories. Chaos turned into connection—all because we kept our cool and adapted.
Another time in LA, a major tech glitch interrupted a virtual board meeting being hosted in the home. Within 20 minutes, I had an IT tech on-site, redirected the call to a working setup in another room, and made sure everything looked effortless. The client never missed a beat—and never knew how close we were to a total disaster.
Why It Matters
High-profile households move fast. There’s a lot on the line—schedules, reputations, expectations. Clients don’t just hire me to manage tasks; they hire me to manage energy. They trust me to bring calm to the chaos, to take charge without creating stress, and to ensure their lives run smoothly even when things go wrong behind the scenes.
That’s what grace under pressure is really about—not eliminating stress, but transforming it. Turning a problem into a solution. Making things feel seamless when they’re anything but. That’s the true heart of this work.
A Career Built on Calm
I didn’t learn how to handle chaos overnight. It took time, practice, and plenty of on-the-job learning. But it’s one of the reasons I love what I do. Every challenge is a chance to step up, to grow, and to be the calm in someone else’s storm.
So the next time the unexpected hits—and it will—I’ll take a deep breath, roll up my sleeves, and do what I’ve always done: lead with grace, solve the problem, and keep the house running without missing a beat.
Because in this career, staying calm under pressure isn’t optional—it’s essential. And for me, it’s also the most rewarding part of the job.